Why I Love... Stealth, Lies and Videotape
I’m the odd one out when I play Command and Conquer: Generals Zero Hour online. While my two long-suffering teammates spew out tanks and planes, while rush tactics batter my flanks and l33t speak racks my screen, while the enemy team constructs mass weapons of mass destruction I merely sit there and bide my time. Like some kind of mysterious traveller sitting in the corner of a bar in the shadows, I sit still. I wait. I bide my time. It’s an art, as I keep telling people, but they never listen. Not that it matters of course – I make the listen.
From high atop a ridge I wait and I watch. I’ve sat in the enemy base right from the start of the game with a few key units. They never saw me come and I’m cloaked to the human eye. I probe a bit with the chat feature. I begin to get them worked up, taunting them despite the fact that I haven’t entered combat once in the game.
It’s a thing of beauty when I decide to move. Something I can’t describe – saboteurs enter the power of all three adversaries. Hijackers capture and self-destruct the legion of bomb trucks that carelessly sat waiting to attack. All of their superweapons are reset and shut down. With a flick of the wrist I have crippled an entire army. Sun Tzu has nothing on me.
The adrenaline flows feely now, as my rebel ambush uncloaks itself and captures an airfield, churning out attack choppers instantly.
And even now I haven’t built a single offensive unit. I don’t need to – tunnels rupture the earth around the enemies’ HQs and my ally emerges with his endless tide. Auroras circle above, fuel air bombs primed. In ten seconds the tide of the battle has been turned.
Why do I love being Stealthy? Because it’s the way forward – the showy Norwegian l33t g33ks with their over-the-top rush tactics; the twelve year old mastermind who’s calculated my chances of winning exactly; the veteran thirty-five year-old yank who’s been playing games since I was the size of a pinhead – they can all laugh and jest, but I can show them that with thought and planning I can prepare just as elaborate a plan as they might.And that’s the bottom line. At the end of the day, the pro gamer has the last laugh, but the tactical gamer has the last word.
From high atop a ridge I wait and I watch. I’ve sat in the enemy base right from the start of the game with a few key units. They never saw me come and I’m cloaked to the human eye. I probe a bit with the chat feature. I begin to get them worked up, taunting them despite the fact that I haven’t entered combat once in the game.
It’s a thing of beauty when I decide to move. Something I can’t describe – saboteurs enter the power of all three adversaries. Hijackers capture and self-destruct the legion of bomb trucks that carelessly sat waiting to attack. All of their superweapons are reset and shut down. With a flick of the wrist I have crippled an entire army. Sun Tzu has nothing on me.
The adrenaline flows feely now, as my rebel ambush uncloaks itself and captures an airfield, churning out attack choppers instantly.
And even now I haven’t built a single offensive unit. I don’t need to – tunnels rupture the earth around the enemies’ HQs and my ally emerges with his endless tide. Auroras circle above, fuel air bombs primed. In ten seconds the tide of the battle has been turned.
Why do I love being Stealthy? Because it’s the way forward – the showy Norwegian l33t g33ks with their over-the-top rush tactics; the twelve year old mastermind who’s calculated my chances of winning exactly; the veteran thirty-five year-old yank who’s been playing games since I was the size of a pinhead – they can all laugh and jest, but I can show them that with thought and planning I can prepare just as elaborate a plan as they might.And that’s the bottom line. At the end of the day, the pro gamer has the last laugh, but the tactical gamer has the last word.
posted by FinalSin at 10:57 am
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